


Vroom vroom wash me like that baby~

by Sociopathicnutellaeggplant



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Creepy Teachers, Destruction, Fighting, M/M, Nameless OCs - Freeform, Perverted characters, Sexual References, Sexy, Teacher who harasses Anri - Freeform, Teenagers, carwash, crossdressing (in future chapters), school days, sexy Heiwajima Shizuo, sexy Orihara Izaya, trouble makers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 17:14:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant/pseuds/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
Summary: High school students doing a fundraiser (car wash). What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Strap yourself in, Shizu-chan~

**Author's Note:**

> Hi

“Good news class! We’re going to have a fundraiser!” The teacher said cheerfully with his arms spreading open. The class silently cringed, knowing that if this teacher had anything to do with it then it wouldn't be any cute bake sale. He bent down behind his desk, continuing his talk. “And since we’re all mature here,” no one missed the suggestive tone in his voice. “We’ll be able to” he rose from behind the desk, grinning a little too widely “have a car wash!” He said as he lifted two buckets in the air that were filled with sponges. 

The class just stayed silent and looked at him as if he were a pervert, nothing but blinking occurred for a few seconds. The teacher kept his ground, grinning, as the students slowly allowed their gazes to travel toward the two most dangerous kids in their school. These two were feared by everyone, even some yakuza members. Their silent pleas were desperate to save them from this event. Izaya took this as his moment to stand from his chair and poke his tongue out at Shizuo. Anything to get out of this. 

It didn't even take a taunting argument or a smirk for Shizuo to start the chase. It seems he was already restraining himself enough to get through the rare class announcements, this one apparently being particularly important. That tiny pink tip of that cheeky little muscle was all it took for Shizuo to throw his desk at Izaya and start the chase. 

Small school bins were torn from their happy little hiding places and tossed toward the tiny little teaser. It took about four laps before they both stopped in the hallway, glaring at the other. Shizuo stomped toward Izaya, closing the gap between them, death stating the other boy in a silent challenge. When the other stuck his tongue out again, Shizuo snapped and went for a hit. 

All it took was a single punch. 

Shizuo realised when it was too late, he no longer had control of his body. His fist collided with the principal's door to his office breaking it to pieces. Both boys stopped, frozen. They silently creeped closer to take a peek inside the room, to inspect the damage. 

It was worse than they expected. 

The principals brand new, prized computer that he always found a way to show off to everyone was smashed to pieces. This was not any average computer. This computer was customised to be the fastest, the best, and everyone knows that is far from cheap to accomplish. 

Izaya figures that if he leaves now then the blame will be pinned on Shizuo. That thought alone is all it takes for him to turn on his feet and quietly speed toward the nearest exit. Unfortunately, today is not his lucky day. He walks straight into the principal, head bumping into the upper chest of the surprisingly tall man. 

Izaya takes a step back from the man and looks up at him, trying his best to act casual, not look guilty. 

He knows he's already busted. 

He quickly turns away from the man, deciding he’ll escape the opposite way. He speeds up his walking, staring straight at his goal, the exit sign ahead. That's when he feels a tug at the back of his collar. A tug so hard it sends him stumbling backward. From his new position, a few steps in front of the principal and a step or so away from Shizuo, he looks toward the blonde. The look he gives is as challenging as he can manage at the moment. He stares deeply into his eyes, a thunderstorm erupting from both and shooting toward Shizuo’s only to be reflected back and in all different ways from Shizuo’s own eyes. The battle between the storms continues, unseen by the principal as he stands near them both with his arms crossed. He clears his throat to break the thunder and capture the boy's attention. Both look slowly toward the man, already aware he plans to punish them both. 

The principal politely leads them to his slightly destroyed office with a smile on his face. He closes the small remaining part of the top of the door that somehow remained connected to the hinges and gestures for them both to sit down. They do as they are told, forcing themselves to ignore the splinters on the chair from the door. The principal mimics their actions, sitting opposite from them. The fire in his eyes is almost blinding to look at. 

“So, I heard your class is doing a fundraiser” he stated simply, tone light, his demeanour almost happy, except for his eyes which reveal his true emotions. Both boys gulp, readily prepared to take any punishment

Any punishment expect this. 

Izaya speaks smoothly, trying to use as much charm as possible to get out of this situation. “It was clearly the beast who-...” when the teachers eyes narrowed, Izaya realised the pin the blame approach was not something that man was in the mood for. He quickly took a 180. “I can replace the computer.” Izaya said Cooley, his tone showing off his cocky side. The teacher seemed unimpressed by his answer and moved closer to the two, lowering his voice to be slightly more aggressive. 

“And the lost information?” He asks challengingly, matching Izaya’s glare harshly. Izaya’s response was to simply chuckle. 

“Gay porn is easily replaceable you know” he mocked, trying a different tactic to slide out of the situation. Apparently the principal didn't appreciate the smug reply either. 

“I didn't get the opportunity to back it up yet.” His voice became harsher, clearly fed up with Izaya. Shizuo sat beside Izaya, trying to keep his mind off him so he wouldn't cause more trouble. It was clear Izaya had lost this battle. Whether he liked it or not, there was evidence against him. ‘It's just a car wash’ he told himself. 

Izaya stood up and quietly left and Shizuo seemed to get the message that now was his time to leave as well. When he exited, he closed the unstable piece of wooden door. When it moved into place, the hinges gave out and it fell to the floor, leaving Shizuo to look nervously at the principal. He silently took a few steps back until he was out of sight before turning and jogging out of the building. 

The principal's eyes darkened, seeming pleased with his victory. 

‘Jokes on him, who doesn't have their BL backed up a hard drive!’ He thought as he looked at the empty space where his office door once was. 

The final bell of the day rang and when the class left and saw the defeated looks on the enemies faces, they knew what was ahead of them. There was no getting out of it now. 

Everyone went on their separate ways home, dreading the day to come. 

When everyone arrived at school the following day, buckets of water had been set up, along with a large sign announcing their car wash. Everyone got into their respective groups, Shizuo with Shinra and some girls, Izaya with some random gossiping girls who seemed more than enthusiastic about having him around. Everyone wore simple white button up shirts, what was being worn under their uniforms so they didn't make the colour fade. The cars rolled in and the perverted boys from class became excited about the women washing the cars, while the women were much more interested with watching Izaya than paying attention to the rest of the boys. 

The first car parked next to Shizuo and his group, unfortunately not blocking the sight of the blonde haired man from Izaya. Shizuo bent down to retrieve a sponge from the bucket, revealing the top of his boxers and some of his lower back to his audience. The black pants he wore hugged his lower body, showing off his strong thigh game and ass as it flexed with his movements. 

He obviously had no idea how wet it was getting, and he was not referring to the sponge. All the women around him were practically drooling at the display, obviously not having the opportunity to have such a view often. 

When he stood upright, hair poked into his eyes so he moved it back by running his hand back through his hair, making the hair stay back from the water. The remaining water from his hand slid down the side of his face, disappearing down the slightly unbuttoned white shirt. Everyone around him seemed to be hypnotised by his actions, including the men in the car. He started sponging the windows while the sponge was clean. 

He sighed slightly, moving toward another window, pressing his chest against the window he had just finished cleaning in the process. The front of his shirt became soaked in the process, his shirt turning see through and his nipples being revealed to be pink perky. Feeling the chilly water sticking to his skin, Shizuo growled and removed his shirt, chucking it to the side, leaving his audience tearing up and silently praying to higher powers above. His skin sparkled from in the blazing hot sun and fuck me in the stink, he's bending over again.

Shizuo went back to the car, chest pressed against the window again. Girls from the class were inching closer to the shirt, desperate to take possession of it. Their eyes remained on the blonde man, unable to stop. The people within the car sat shocked, one of the men crossing his legs, shifting uncomfortably at the sight. 

Noticing that he was the only one actually doing work, he turned angrily toward the people within his group. The response was instant and the hypnotic spell was broken. 

A car parked next to Izaya, making him lose sight of Shizuo. It was only then that he realised that he was staring like a hormonal teenager. Oh well, out of sight, out of mind. The car seemed a little too fancy for this area, probably yakuza or something. He picked up a sponge from the bucket and began sourly scrubbing the car, ignoring the looks he was being given by the women. The rest of Izaya’s group joined him shortly after checking him out, washing various parts of the cars. The men within the car seemed more than pleased with their car being washed, keeping a close eye on the women as they occasionally got their shirts wet and revealed a little of what was underneath. One man rolled down the window smoothly and dog whistled as one of the girls bent down, going as far as to slap her ass. 

Wrong move. 

Unfortunately for this man, anti-domestic violence justice warrior gentleman Shizuo was within watching distance of this incident. The sponge in his hand split in two, the remaining soft material in his hand completely drained of any moisture, struggling to not disintegrate into nothingness. He ran forward, fist clenched, held in the air, ready to destroy any bones within the man's face. His fist collided with the man, sending him flying out the opposite window of the car, spreading glass both inside and out of the car. The girls had scattered as well as the majority of the boys, excluding of course, Shinra, Izaya and the principal. 

Well shit. 

The damage to the car was actually very minimal, a small repair an-... Izaya started clapping. That's all it took for Shizuo to snap again, tearing the door off the car and using it as a weapon to throw at Izaya. Izaya ran toward the school gate, straight past Shizuo, unfortunately to bump into the principal and fall to the ground. Shizuo quickly spun around, instantly forcing his feet forward, only to follow the same fate as Izaya. Both sat stunned on the ground below the principal who had his arms crossed with the same fire in his eyes as the time his precious computer had been destroyed.


	2. Shiki-San, you aren't John Wick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter just to show their punishment and what's to come. Wrote it in like 10 minutes tbh.

The class cried silently as the principal forced Shizuo to wear his clothing. It had dried since it had been in the sun for so long. The two biggest sources of entertainment for the car wash had been dragged away to apologise to yakuza members. 

They really fucked up this time, didn't they? 

The two boys were led through a gallery, the principal staying behind so they can learn to "sort their own problems out", not because he's scared shitless. They decide to ignore his shaking because they don't want to damage his pride. 

'Goddam, those yakuza guys are totally hot. I'll pop a boner if I'm in there with them' the principal thought as he held his nose to conceal his nose bleed, trying desperately to chase away the fantasies of hot yakuza guys laying seductively on the ground, skin showing, tattoos showing, scars! The principal quietly snuck back to his school, making the excuse of having to take care of children who were still participating in the car wash. 

Shiki was staring forward at a painting, sitting on a black leather seat in a suit. He didn't bother talking, just sat, looking majestic. Izaya boldly sat next to Shiki, feeling confident since he had dealt with the man before. 

"I can see you're a fan of John Wick" Izaya stated, not receiving any reaction out of the man. Shizuo quietly sat next to Izaya, feeling that this was no time to start a fight. This man looked like he could with just a look and that kind of terrified Shizuo. Once Shizuo sat, Shiki turned his gaze to the two boys, keeping a steady expression. Izaya smiled and Shizuo just fidgeted awkwardly. 

"That car was part of an important trading deal with America." Shiki stated simply, choosing to ignore the nervous looks of the man who supposedly survived being crashed into by a truck. Shizuo chose this moment to finally speak up. 

“Is there any way we can make it up to you” and at that moment, Izaya wished he could kill Shizuo about 200 times more than usual. ‘You do not offer the yakuza favours. That is not a position you want to be in. You thick headed-’ 

“Yes.” The word was simple but it shook everyone who heard it. Shizuo’s mind instantly thought of being forced to kill someone. Izaya’s mind jumped to being chucked into a basement somewhere, if not something worse, being resources for the principals out of school fetishes. 

“Your principal” ‘oh fuck, please no!’ Both the boys minds were sent into overdrive at the mention of their principal. Nothing could be worse than being at the mercy of that man. Both boys sent the man a look with the biggest, saddest, puppy dog eyes ever seen. Unfortunately for them, this woman was a sadistic fuck. “Has requested you two do photo shoots to promote the car wash. We expect you to wash our cars too.” The look he gave the boys was the sort of look that spoke ‘tell anyone about this and you get thrown in a basement and your lives made hell’, which Izaya was considering if it meant he had the chance to get out of doing anything anywhere near the principal and the teacher. 

Both of the boys got up, the most dead inside look on their faces. Shiki’s eyes seemed to shimmer, as he was anticipating what was ahead. ‘What's with all these perverts’ Izaya moved ahead of Shizuo, not being trusted. He wasn't even in the mood to kill him right now. 

The boys arrived back at the school grounds and were immediately greeted by the principal and his lackey (the teacher). ‘How did these two even legally get jobs at a school?” Both Izaya and Shizuo thought when they saw the devious smirks on their faces. The car wash has been wrapped up for the day but it seemed with what had happened, that was not the last they had seen of the fundraiser. 

“Why can't we just bake cakes instead?” Shizuo asked. Yes, he just fucking asked that and instantly Izaya knew, he just fucking KNEW that they were thinking of the naked apron thing. It seems Shizuo caught on instinctively and when he looked at Izaya he was greeted with the nastiest glare he had ever seen. ‘I just made it worse, didn't I’ he thought and slumped in defeat. 

“We were thinking we should also do cake sales! You two can be the cover models for the advertising for that too” Izaya narrowed his eyes and took his knife out of his pocket just enough so Shizuo could see, clearly giving the message of ‘I'm going to kill you in the most painful way possible.’ The teacher and the principal showed the two boys to boxes of cosplay, much of which looked to be very feminine and even worn. Those fuckers had planned this, hadn't they?

Shizuo and Izaya turned and began walking away, hoping they can escape. “Shiki-San and Akabayashi-San said they would pick you up at 6pm!” ‘Great, being threatened by yakuza and a principal. What next?’ Izaya thought sourly as he walked faster, wanting nothing more than to drown himself in the bath tub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are welcome as well as any sexy pose requests. They will be added next chapter.


	3. Principals true colours (extra)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short extra chapter

The principal held a single rose in his hand, tears streaming down his face. He gently placed the rose on his computer, sobbing loudly. 

“I will avenge you, my love” he sniffled. The teacher put his hand on the principals shoulder, trying to give him some comfort. Men in black suits came through the destroyed door way, crunching splinters on their way through. They carried a small, empty coffin. 

Students lined up along the hallway, heads bowed. The school was silent and dark, all knowing all too well that the principal will be more on edge than usual. The tears the principal thought were spilled for his computer were actually falling from what they knew was to come. The men in black suits picked up the pieces of the computer, placing it into the coffin. They walked down the hallway, moved by the students feelings toward the scene. The teacher held the principal, comforting him. 

During the lunch break, when Izaya and Shizuo went to see Shiki, all students were called to the hall for an assembly. There stood the computer, clumsily pieced together with glue, sitting inside a specially made and shaped coffin. The principal was dressed in black and had hair gel in his hair, making him look like a yakuza member. He talked for far too long about memories he shared with his computer, making the students want to jump out the nearest window. When the speech was done, all the students followed the coffin to a small part of the school that didn't see much action, except action between sluts because they figured out the principal had cameras in the toilets. 

A small hole had been dug and once the coffin was lowered down, students were forced to place a Rose into the hole. The coffin was buried and the principal continued to weep. 

The students were sent back to their classes and the principal remained by the burial ground, a blank look on his face. At the sound of the bell, he silently moved from the grave, going to change back into his normal attire. The vengeful look remained with him every moment until he greeted the two boys at the gate. 

‘Revenge would be sweet’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I needed to add a funeral for the computer to show his attachment.   
> Shhh don't question it.   
> It's okay if you don't understand.  
> It's a bit more characterisation for the principal too.   
> Have to make sure everyone knows just how twisted he is.   
> Back to regular story next chapter.


	4. Has anyone ever heard of knocking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is kind of an extra too but whatever   
> My internet has died so this is all I can really do right now

Izaya walked into his house and headed straight for the bathroom. He needed to relax and possibly drown himself. He took off his black coat (?) he wore for school. Moments later, it was hung up delicately on a hanger connected to the door because he isn't a beast. He looks after his clothes. He gently unbuttoned the white collared shirt he was forced to wear that day, slowly revealing more of his skin. The top basically moved off his body by itself, seeming smooth as silk as it moved. His nipples perked from the cold and he shivered. His shirt was hung up on the door. 

Izaya decided to leave the pants for now, since skinny jeans are not the easiest to remove and he was already struggling against the temperature. He moved to the bath and turned on the tap so warm water pooled in the tub. The steam wafted to Izaya, bringing him a delightful heat. He sat down on the side of the tub, unbuckling his pants and pulling them off. They got down to his ankles and he had to work the material off the balls of his feet. not an easy task. Once the material finally moved off his ankle, he began the struggle of removing the other. 

“I should just start wearing leggings” he thought out loud to himself, his voice echoing in the bathroom. The only material that now remained was the underwear. This style of underwear could be considered “sexy men's underwear”, a tight, sleek design, mainly black, cut to show a bit off ass. He stood from the side of the tub, admiring himself in the mirror. He turned to look at his butt, unconsciously comparing it to Shizuo's.

“There's no way that beast has a better ass than me…” he frowned at the weak convincing skills. 

Crash!

“We’re home!” The door swung open to reveal two smaller girls. Izaya screamed in a high pitched tone, being too absorbed to realise their presence in the house. Both girls looked at each other, almost as if sharing a private conversation. 

“Who has a better ass than you?” He wanted to die. Blood rushed to his face and he unconsciously covered himself, dreading being caught in his private moment. He death stared both the girls. 

“Get out!” He shouted, pushing them both out and slamming the door behind him. “Can't you knock!” He can't wait to move out. Sweet privacy will be all his. He slumped against the side of the tub, finding the gentle patter of water calming. He tipped his head back and enjoyed how the water gently tickled the back of his head and ran down his back-... wait… 

Izaya abruptly jumped and ran for the taps, turning them off as fast as he could. Water drizzled down the side of the tub, wetting the tiles. 

“Just great” he grabbed one of the girls towels and threw it on the floor, mopping up all the excess water that didn't go down the drain on the floor. He didn't care enough to empty the tub enough before he got in, so more water spilled, soaking the towel. He laid back and tried to forget his troubles. He closed his eyes and sighed as the water soaked into his skin. ‘Maybe I should put lavender or something in here?’ He thought to himself and hummed, deciding it to be a good idea. 

He reluctantly opened his eyes and opened a small bottle of lavender oil, springing a few drops into the bath. The relaxing aroma filled the air and allowed his muscles to loosen up a bit. At about 4pm, he began drifting off to sleep. 

Shizuo couldn't find it in himself to go home straight away. He was scared of snapping at his family members, so he went to the park. He sat on a park bench and soaked up the sunshine. 

Children and parents flocked to the park as an after school activity. Some families came with dogs while others brought their girlfriends in hope of getting some brownie points. All who moved through the park seemed determined to avoid the blonde man, he did stand out as a dangerous man. Did he care? No. Right now he just wanted to beat something up. 

He sat in that park until the sun began to go down. A man with red hair stepped out of a limo and walked over to collect Shizuo. 

“Hello, Heiwajima-San. I am Akabayashi Mizuki. I was sent by Shiki-San to pick you up” Shizuo realised that all the relaxing he had done was for nothing because his temper instantly came back. At least his family didn't have to witness this. 

Izaya awoke to a terrible feeling of water entering his lungs. He sat up from the water and coughed his lungs out. Once he had settled down, he looked at a clock on the bathroom wall. 

“5:55pm.” He said to himself and nodded “5:55pm…” he said to himself, as if echoing his last statement. “Fuck” the realisation that he only had 5 minute to get ready dawned on him. He jumped out of the bath, being careless and slipping on the tiles made wet by his movements. With himself spread out on the bathroom floor, the door slid open. There to greet him was Akabayashi, looking smug. Izaya gracefully got up and smiled at the other man, not bothering to cover his lower parts 

His dick

“You’re early” Izaya states, smiling sweetly and trying to not glare. 

“You’re naked” Akabayashi pointed out and that got him a soaked towel to the face. 

“Get. Out.” Izaya stated harshly. Izaya picks up the hairdryer, sparing the tub a quick glance. ‘I could just-’

“I'll meet you out front in 5 minutes” Akabayashi said with a smile as he confiscated the possibly dangerous piece of technology. The wet towel was hung up neatly and the girls knew what the reason for the wet patch on his clothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed bath time with Izaya   
> Okay, next chapter will actually be properly adding to the plot.   
> I felt that this was important so I added it.  
> I suppose I wanted to show a bit more of Izaya being embarrassed and some of his home life.   
> I felt like I just also needed to see Akabayashi getting hit in the face with a wet towel.  
> Tell me what you think :p


	5. Akabayashi, really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life update: internet is down again so I'm writing more of this   
> I know the chapters are only like 1000 words but whatever! Adding some glorious shiz to the fandom.

Izaya towel dried his hair and quickly put on some casual clothes, opting for leggings since they didn't take anywhere near as much time to put on.

It had nothing to do with that he liked how his ass looked 

He put on a red v neck shirt and was out the door. His nipples poked out from under his shirt and his hair looked messy, unlike what it normally looks like but he wasn't in the mood to care. Akabayashi greeted him with a smile and gestured him to sit next to Shizuo. 

“Ladies first” he stated smugly which Izaya just rolled his eyes and ducked down to seat himself in the car. 

As Izaya crawled into the car, his shirt moved down so his chest was exposed from the v in his shirt. Both Shiki and Shizuo got to see Izaya’s nipples, perky and full of life, unlike what the boy himself looked like. Neither said anything about what they saw and Shizuo looked away awkwardly, feeling as if he was peeking on a female, seeing something private that he shouldn't. He obviously didn't know that a moment ago, Akabayashi had seen much more than just Izaya’s nipples. 

Akabayashi, however was getting a much more interesting view. It seems he agrees on Izaya’s new found fashion sense of leggings, since they allow him to enjoy as sculpted high schoolers ass moves right up all in his face. 

When he caught the disapproving look on Shiki’s face, he smiled an “innocent” smile, more like the ‘got caught with your pants down’ smile. 

Shiki was sat on one side of the limo seat with Shizuo next to him. Akabayashi sat next to Izaya so both the boys had nowhere to run. Izaya sighed and rested his head against the back of the seat, lightly dampening the material. Shizuo glanced at him quickly, rather unused to seeing Izaya so all over the place. Akabayashi told the driver to move, leaving Shiki to remain mysteriously silent. Shizuo felt awkward being sandwiched between a yakuza member and Izaya. 

Izaya seemed peaceful enough to fall asleep again, except for any moment when Akabayashi’s leg brushed against his. ‘Wonder what's up with them’ Shizuo thought to himself, figuring it doesn't matter all that much. He refused to look in the direction of Shiki, although the man was looking out the window, he had this feeling at the bottom of his stomach to stay away. 

The drive was short and silent with each member either too awkward to speak, too tired or too busy checking out high schoolers. Of course, Shiki was still staring at something out the window, probably something incredibly interesting, since it had all of his attention. Akabayashi seemed set on staring at Izaya’s thighs in the tights that left practically nothing to the imagination. Akabayashi looked up, noticing his reflection was being watched in the glass by Shiki. Akabayashi stuck his tongue out at Shiki’s frowning reflection and pudding, if anyone saw a yakuza blushing that hard they would surely be thrown in a basement. 

‘They seem to be very close friends’ Shizuo thought as he watched the rare exchange between the two high up yakuza members. 

‘Way to be oblivious, Shizu-chan’ Izaya thought as Shizuo’s thoughts were impossibly easy to read at that moment. 

Akabayashi snickered as he had successfully made the other man blush, all without a single soul noticing so he won't get in trouble. 

“You’re dead.” Shiki said to break the long silence right before the car stopped. His door was opened and he left before shocked man got a chance to question his words. 

Akabayashi’s face seemed to pale at the other man's words, knowing all too well that he can keep his word. Deciding it wasn't his place to interfere, Shizuo quickly got out of the limo, trying to distance himself from trouble as much as possible 

Oh wait he was practically the embodiment of trouble 

Izaya of course, being Izaya, pushed his boundaries a little too much, smirking at Akabayashi. The red haired man was perfectly ready to put the other in his place until he had to bend over to get out of the car 

The leggings win again 

Obviously, the looks Akabayashi spared Izaya’s ass did not go unnoticed by Shiki. 

There goes any chance of him living a long, productive life. 

He followed Shizuo and Shiki inside, ignoring Akabayashi’s silent cries for help. 

Izaya walked around sleepily to inspect the place, or more specifically, to find escape routes because he could feel that someone was watching his every step and he just knew it had to be that monster. The room seemed pretty average but still sketchy. There were only a couple of windows that had thick, black, theatre curtains covering them, not allowing any light to pass through. The only light that was provided came from spotlights and smaller theatre lights. In the middle of the room was a large, white backdrop and near it an old, worn out director's chair. To the side of the room, was a mysterious door that Izaya swore had dried blood on the floor near it. 

This was going to be absolutely splendid… 

Izaya sighed and went to lean against the wall but was surprised to find it was warm and cushioned, a moment later hands on his shoulders 

Oh hell no 

Izaya jumped back, turning quickly and shoving his hand in the pocket of his pants-... ‘shit wore leggings’. He was surprised to see the principal leaning against the wall, hands falling back into a crossed position. ‘How does he do that?’ He stared at the other man completely confused. Before he could voice his opinion, Takashi Nasujima appeared from behind the mysterious door carrying a box that suspiciously resembled one of the boxes him and the principal were holding up at the front gates-... 

‘...’ 

Shizuo seemed to put two and two together and cringed when seeing the box. He and Izaya unconsciously had moved closer to each other to avoid the other nut jobs that were probably perverts. 

They’re looking at you Akabayashi and Nasujima you perverted fucks 

Izaya and Shizuo were called toward the box, walking dreading what was to come. Was this even legal? They both sat down on the floor on opposite sides of the box and Izaya pulled out the first piece of material his hand touched, which happened to be some very small, very tight booty shorts. Shizuo looked as if his soul had left his body, Izaya swore he could see it flying into the air, far away from this. Izaya slowly placed the piece of fabric back into the box, hoping that if he couldn't see it anymore then it wouldn't exist. He decided to try his luck again. The second item he picked out was a red, lacy women's g string. 

Nope.

It went straight back into the box and Izaya refused to put his hand back into that portal to hell. He smiled a shaky smile at Shizuo and gestured him to pick out his outfit first. Shizuo swallowed his saliva and began moving his hand toward the box. A simple box, brown, innocent looking, it even had a black smiley face drawn on it. Looks can be very deceiving. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and shoved his hand into the box, only to retrieve a white shirt. ‘That doesn't seem too bad’ he held it up with the back facing him and looked over to Izaya who was staring at that shirt like it was trying to murder him. Shizuo turned the shirt over to see the front and what graced his eyes was the image of a very detailed print of a hairy, erect dick and a very hairy chest. 

Akabayashi seemed to be having the time of his life, leaned against Shiki, silently laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Outwardly, Shiki seemed unamused but Akabayashi could tell he was struggling to not piss himself laughing. 

Shizuo threw the shirt at Izaya with a battle cry, which took Izaya by surprise and caused him to fall back against the floor. The print of the shirt landed face down on Izaya, allowing him a very close up view of the hairy, erect penis. He quickly flew from the floor and shoved the shirt back in the box, closing the lid and backing away until he hit the closest wall. 

All the adults couldn't hold in their laughter, including Shiki. He hand Akabayashi were struggling to keep their balance, the teachers were already on the floor, Shizuo was frozen with traumer and Izaya was shaking with terror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to share any thoughts. I'll probably write another chapter today (if internet doesn't come back on lol)   
> I feel like this chapter was pretty immature but oh well   
> I probably said that I would show them doing pages like 2 chapters ago, instead I used those chapters to rant.   
> Gold star me


	6. Where did you come from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short i know

The principal had just seen off Shizuo and Izaya so he went back to his office, leaving the boxes with Takashi. He opened the newly replaced door and sat on his office chair. He opened a draw to his desk and got out a bunch of papers and scribbled his signature on a few, writing comments or notes on others. He smiled at how peaceful his job has been today. No major destruction of school property, all students behaving themselves for his computers funeral. 

His phone chimed and he picked it up, checking. There was a message from a number with no caller ID. 

‘Let's hope those too get along’ the principal read in his head, chewing on the end of his pen. He stared at his phone for a while, not longer than a few moments delay. 

“Yeah,” the principal said to himself, moving his attention to the window with a spaced out look. “Let's hope so” the principal said slowly, his voice sounding distant. There was a small glint in the distance among the trees near where his computer was buried. “Let's hope so” he echoed, his phone screen going dark. There was a knock at the door that caught the principals attention. He looked toward the door. 

“It's me” Takeshita stated, voice sounding blander than when he’s near high schoolers. “It's time to leave” he continued, waiting patiently outside the door. 

The principal moved from his chair and opened the door, sparing his window one last glance. When he closed the door, he looked up at Takashi who smiled. They both got into the principal's car, an expensive looking white car. He drove them to a bland looking building and parked in a garage nearby. They both entered through the front door, flicking a switch so spotlights lit up the room. Takashi carried a box toward the mysterious door, which was politely opened by the principal. They both disappeared behind the door as the sound of a vehicle could be heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few mysteries.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never read any car wash fanfictions and I need this shiz so I'm making it. If anyone wants to add to this drawings are accepted XD okay sorry I can't help myself. There's like no car wash fanart for any of my favs so it's going to be a bumpy ride. It's not like I'm going to show Yakuza members washing cars anything...   
> if you want anything specific in the way of car washing... any hot car washing positions... feel free to tell me. I'm happy to add to this fandom.   
> Haha wonder what the punishment is going to be for these boys ;)


End file.
